~Fearfully And Wonderfully Made~

Twenty-Five.

I am Twenty-Five today.

I always wondered how I would feel on this particular birthday.

It’s that halfway to fifty mark.

That BIG Twenty-five.

They say this is when you start to wish your birthday’s wouldn’t come, that you would stop aging now.

Just stop at Twenty-Five.

However I find myself a little excited, I am leaving the term “Young Adult” behind, now it’s just adult.

I am an adult and I am excited.

I am excited that in a world as crazy as this one, I am alive.

I am a woman whom God made fearfully and wonderfully.

I feel like a child who has finally grown up and for some crazy reason, I am actually truly excited about this.

Every birthday we are one year older, I have seen many people express sadness for growing older, Twenty-five, then thirty, then forty and fifty, ect.

I ask this question, why is age something to be feared or sad about?

Look at you, you have made it.

That should be something to celebrate.

If you’re a parent, then look at the legacy you are raising.

If you aren’t look at each milestone you have hit.

You are beautifully and wonderfully made, day by day, year by year.

Constantly changing, growing and learning.

I for one want to embrace every year that comes, because it is another year that I have lived and I plan to live each day to it’s fullest.

So this year, i am happy to be Twenty-five.

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.                                                                                         Psalm 139:14

~He Hear’s Us~

Do you know that moment, the one where you just feel like the weight of the world is crushing you.

Stressed, tired and feeling like giving up.

The moment when you end up on your knees praying… no, begging for an answer.

You feel like all you can hear is silence in response.

You wake up in the morning, vision blurred as you stumble through your day.

Your chest feels heavy and you feel alone and tired.

Then, somehow you end up somewhere, grudgingly, unexpectedly.

You find yourself listening to the person speaking, arms crossed, wishing you were anywhere else but that crowded room.

Until finally some of her words break through.

Suddenly your attention is completely focused.

You hear every powerful word hit home, like in that moment God used her to answer you.

You can feel it in your heart and soul.

God was speaking to you.

He was showing you the door you had been looking for and it had a giant neon glowing sign above it.

That was me.

Just a few short months ago, that was me.

A couple of months ago, my husband came home super excited about an opportunity he had learned about.

He wanted so badly for me to be excited as well, however I dug my heels into the ground and said it sounded crazy.

I told him that I would support what he wanted to do, but I would not agree with it.

I grumbled about it at every turn. (So supportive right?)

During this time, I was still struggling my way through depression and things had fallen through with my therapist.

Every little thing agitated me and made me feel crazy and angry.

I finally agreed to go to an event with Jarod and when I did it changed how I felt about it all.

I sat there listening to this lady speak about her experience and it really hit me hard.

She wasn’t afraid to speak up about her faith and she talked about how family was such an important priority and how they came first.

It was right after this that small changes started happening in myself and in my family.

I started feeling peace and being able to open up and just talk with Jarod about anything and everything.

The kids started smiling more and I even felt myself laughing and enjoying myself. I went to more and more events listening to people’s stories and I realized that God had this huge plan for me all along, I just hadn’t realized it yet.

It had been so long, but finally I am learning what peace and real happiness feels like.

I am finally understanding what it is to love unconditionally.

I am finally learning what God wants for me in this life.

I feel like I am ready to give a part of myself back to Him, to let God use me to reach other people who are struggling and hurting.

Who are suffering from depression, who feel alone, ect.

When we hurt and all we hear is silence, He still hears us.

His answer might not always be apparent, it might even be to just wait, but God is always listening and He is ALWAYS here for us.